.+. Serene .+.

okay the stuff i'm about to post up,
it may sound really ridiculous *and lame*
but honestly i swear!
this is exactly the dream i had last night >.<
and FYI, i even woke up in the middle of the night just to note this down
cuz yeah, it's sad that everytime i had nice dream,
i'll tend to forget all about it the next morning =/

so here's the story..
it happened on the day i went for their promo *i mean SJ's promo*,
me with another unnie *elder sister*
and the first person i met was Donghae
*from outside of the building, he was going to enter into the building, and we were even walking the same way*
then entered the lift. i was alone with him in the lift.
he was standing in front of me,
and since he looked really cold *as in ego =.=*
*which is kinda unbelievable, cuz the real Donghae's not even this kind =.=*
anyway so yeah, since i was too nervous to speak,
we remained silent till the lift reached our destination
*forgot where we were heading to though. aiks ==*
and then, we both headed to unnie's car
*yea now i remember, i think the unnie's someone like their manager or something*
*omo how can i even get to be close with people like her?!? xDD*
in the car, the situation is not much different but i finally have the courage
*yeah too nervous before this xD* to talk to him.
erm there was nothing much i told him i guess,
except to ask for his permission to take a picture with him xD

and then, here's the best part..
Donghae's Anchovy *ok sorry i keep calling him this way, cuz that's exactly their relationship, EunHae :D* came to the car
the first thing i realised,
their hairstyle is the same!
and they even dyed the same colour =O
which is light brown, on top of their original colour, black
*again, another unbelievable one, since Eunhyuk has just dyed his hair back to black =/* wakaka anyway, after seeing Eunhyuk,
without me realising,
Donghae just got excited and act like the one i always see, the cheerful Donghae >.<
ahahah and about Eunhyuk,
he just keep smiling, when talking to the unnie,
and even when greeting me..
kyaaaa!! *the mischievous anchovy* >.<
and again, asked to take picture,
but this time is to take BOTH of their picture,
since i saw an application of EunHae. haha xD

and then, i woke up =(
gahh shouldn't felt so excited,
then maybe i can sleep longer already..
bwahaha xD

sweet dream! *cheers!* :DD

just to state it clear first,

so i was saying that i got hurt twice at the same time
or can be said having two-same-kind problems
involving two of my good friends =/
which was why i was having a hard time before this.

but i'm glad one of them is settled now
we're good together back =)
and that really has to thank someone seriously
that 'someone' has been listening to all my problems..
and advising me on what i should do and all..
i do not know how did we get this close,
but it just happened.
one thing which makes me sad is that,
i wasnt able to help him with anything
i know he's having a hard time before this too..
having his problem too,
but i can only listen to him,
and not being able to help :/

anyway i hope he's cheered up by now
and really,
Thank You, 'sensei'!! :D

well, after this incident too,
makes me realize of one important thing.
i'm glad i still have you guys though i've lost one important good friend of mine..

love ya!! ^^

"everything's over..
am i wrong to letting out what i'm feeling inside??
weak? backstabbing you? obsessed till my life's affected? gaining sympathy??
so that's how you've been thinking of me all this while..
thanks for not making me a fool and dont know everything's that going on.
i finally understand what you're thinking....
will respect your every decision, like always.
and i know i dont regret knowing you as a friend."

you want it to be over between us?
fine, i'll go with it
funny how i thought we were so close last time,
thinking that we wont be like others who're having problem with their BFF
and now this thing is happening on us.
who to blame?
just blaming myself for not understanding you enough
and just supporting your decision all the time
and dont even know what you're actually thinking inside..
now that i finally understand,
but it's already too late..

realised it's not a wise decision to tell outsiders about our real feelings
but honestly, i dont blame anyone at all
and sad to say that i'm still trying to search for the wrong words that i've said
till can be taken as 'backstabbing you??'
i hate myself to be easily influenced by you,
from the group that i once supported,
until it can turn to the group i hate the most
they're not bad, i knoww..
just that it's disappointing to think that you're liking them back after there's one person that has been influenced by you to hating them
T_T
right, it's wise not to care about all this
glad you're not also.

"regret for buying the tickets"
has been a nightmare to me everytime when i thought of this words at night
it's sad to know how you've changed within this one week
and, it's all because of me??
recalling the moment how hard i've persuaded my dad to let me attend this concert,
partly because of wanting to watch Eunhae together with you
now i'll train myself to continue looking forward to it and enjoy the concert alone...

nothing can describe how i'm feeling right now..
it's just..
too hurt

it's been a long time..
too much happenings since the day i got back from vacation last month,
makes me lazy to update all the stuff :P

anyway, received a shocking news today when i onlined,
which i couldn't resist to talk about it on my blog =S
it was from My Eunhyuk,
*actually she was already trying to tell me about this last night when we chat in fb,
but i offlined earlier =S*
so the thing is,
she suddenly told me, she wished to let them go
*them as in, her favourite kpop idols and boybands*
which is very shocking to me.

i know how crazy she has been getting over them,
becuase i'm in the same team as her :P
when we had our reunion with the rest of the gang,
we can't stop talking about kpop all the time,
and one of the time when they finally found out about one thing,
we know every detail of our idols,
we know what they're doing right now,
how they're doing,
what's their coming plan,
what's happening to them recently and all kinds of private stuff.
well, not really private la,
just as a concern since we're their fans.

so when My Eunhyuk told me that she's decided to give them up,
honestly saying, i'm a little bit angry,
and disappointed with her.
wanted to tell her lots of things,
reminding her how she used to get all excited when SS501 and MinHo oppa came to KL that day,
reminding her how sad we were when we knew our favourite idols contracted with H1N1
reminding her how our friendship got closer and stronger ever since we get to know about EunHae
reminding her how we started calling each other 'My Eunhyuk' & 'My Donghae'
reminding her about our 'yaksok'..
recalling all these already make me feel even sadder,
so i ended up wishing her luck instead of telling her all these,
which i think, will probably hurt her alot T_T

i respect her decision if she's determined to give them up,
she can give them up, all of them except Super Junior
which i think is the most powerful korean boyband that we had the most memories of
*EunHae's one of them*
i'm seriously hoping so..
*please, My Eunhyuk?*

but then,
after chatting with her just now,
she came up with another decision that she can't live without kpop ^^
*i know she can't. she still love them alot =]*
so for what i've said earlier,
it's my turn to forget about it =]
i know she'll be doing fine.
and i know she won't get to read this post,
so i'll stay positive and continue to '13elieve' in her ^^

*love you, My Eunhyuk!*